Things I Didn't Learn In Graduate School

• Giving depositions and court testimony -  We have a keen interest in finding a way for all parties involved in a dispute to come out of the resolution process feeling heard and valued. Of course, that is precisely the wrong approach to take in depositions or court testimony. I'm not a lawyer, but I have found that there are four acceptable answers to legal questions in those settings: "Yes." "No." "I don't have knowledge about that." And "Would you repeat the question?"
• Handling internal politics -  It has not been uncommon over the years for me to hear from new professionals who seem surprised by how political our work settings can be. They feel under-prepared or overwhelmed in trying to gain competence in, if not mastery of, internal politics.
• Moving up the ranks - Simply put, as you move up, you have fewer and fewer peers at your institution (or in the field) with whom it is appropriate to share a conversation about how things are going on the campus or in your professional life. Those are not conversations you should have either down or up the ladder, for the most part, though there may be some circumstances in which doing so is appropriate and possible.
• Loss and grieving -  You may need a somewhat different set of skills if you are called upon to help grieving colleagues who are struggling with the death of a student, a fellow student-affairs professional, or a family member. What if the grief and loss are your own? How much do you share in the workplace? How much time are you willing to take for healing when the "to do" stack is growing every day?

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