"You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.”
— Anonymous
- Be prepared - Make sure you know the essential points you want to make. Research the facts you need to convince your opponent.
- When to argue, when to walk away - Think carefully before you start to argue: is this the time; is this the place?
- What you say and how you say it - Spend time thinking about how to present your argument. Body language, choice of words and manner of speaking all affect how your argument will come across.
- Listen and listen again - Listen carefully to what the other person is saying. Watch their body language, listen for the meaning behind their words.
- Excel at responding to arguments - Think carefully about what arguments the other person will listen to. What are their preconceptions? Which kinds of arguments do they find convincing.
- Watch out for crafty tricks - Arguments are not always as good as they first appear. Be wary of your opponent’s use of statistics. Keep alert for distraction techniques such as personal attacks and red herrings. Look out for concealed questions and false choices.
- Develop the skills of arguing in public - Keep it simple and clear. Be brief and don’t rush.
- Be able to argue in writing - Always choose clarity over pomposity. Be short, sharp, and to the point, using language that is easily understood.
- Be great at resolving deadlock - Be creative in finding ways out of an argument that’s going nowhere. Is it time to look at the issue from another angle? Are there ways of putting pressure on so that the other person has to agree with you? Is a compromise possible?
- Maintain relationships - This is absolutely key. What do you want from this argument? Humiliating, embarrassing or aggravating your opponent might make you feel good at the time, but you might have many lonely days to rue your mistake. Find a result that works for both of you. You need to move forward. Then you will be able to argue another day.
by Jonathan Herring
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