Happiest Day In My Life - October 4, 2019

The sweetest sentence I have ever heard in my life came from Max's oncologist on the morning of October 4th, 2019: 

"He is walking, you can take him home."

"Miracle" is an oversimplified word in the English language to capture the complexities of the life of earth that we don't comprehend. 

But what I was able to comprehend that day was the sparkle and twinkle in Max's eyes. Everything I ever asked for in my life came true that moment when I saw his eyes. 

After 4 days of continuous blood transfusion, IV's, multitudes of pills, and 24 hours of monitoring - Max not only woke up but came home walking with that famous twinkling eyes. 

That day, I lived these beautiful lines from this famous Tamil love song: 

With your life in mine, how come you can be buried?

Am I not inside your life

Even the death which came to kill, stood there still and confused. 

Whatever little good deeds I did all my life probably cumulated to that moment in time;  my good karmas or call it entropy. Max will not die in a remote place far away from home nor will he be killed by poison in a syringe euphemistically called euthanasia. My Max will be coming home. 

That moment in time changed me forever. It's been exactly a year since that moment but that change has been constant. I have got what I wanted in my life at that moment. I will not ask anything more from and in life. The rest of my life is a journey to pay back for that miracle of a moment.

My Max taught me that moment that life is extremely precious. Including my life; so I cannot and will not kill myself no matter what. We lived a simple, mundane but yet beautiful life together filled with wonder.  His final lesson to me is the same - keep doing the mundane, boring, ordinary right things in life every moment. There is no other grandiose way to payback for that miracle other than to make the right choice every moment. 

Max left a bubble of gratitude for me to dwell inside for the rest of my days. Inside that bubble, my desires ended, and my life without Max began. 

Max has the Sapien inside me on a tight leash. Max inside me is the one helping me to keep breathing every day even with the pain of him not being next to me. 

I got more than I ever deserved that day on 4th October 2019. Max got his wish granted. He was able to come back to his favorite place on earth - Home.