What I've Been Reading

Meditations on Violence: A Comparison of Martial Arts Training & Real World Violence by Rory Miller. This is one the top ten books I have ever read in my life, period. What made this book more special is fact that Miller is not even a professional writer. Everyone must read this book; especially all those quixotic women who live in delusion amalgamating "rights" with lack of prudence. Read this book - it might save your or your loved one's life someday (Thanks to Sam Harris for recommending this book).

• Unicorns are mythical, yet we know so much about them. The rhinoceros is real and, except for a few experts, we know so little. There is a parallel between the unicorn and violence.
• I present this as a warning. You are what you are, not what you think you are. Violence is what it is, not necessarily what you have been told.
• Never, ever, ever delegate responsibility for your own safety. Never, ever, ever override your own experience and common sense on the say-so of some self-appointed "expert." Never, ever, ever ignore what your eyes see because it isn't what you imagined. And strive to always know the difference between what your eyes are seeing and what your brain is adding.
  When you are standing next to an elephant, it is huge. It could crush you at will or tear you in half, and there is nothing you could do. The advantage of being blind, of only knowing a part of this beast, is the comfortable illusion of safety.
• The best advice in this book will serve to enrich your life more than it will contribute to your survival. This is one of those bits. Examine your own epistemology. Look at your beliefs, and the source of those beliefs. Some of your beliefs came from early training or bad sources. Some of your sources were chosen because you knew they supported your preexistigg point of view. Look very deeply at those sources that you accept without question. As you do this, it will allow you to see many things that you have thought of as true as merely opinions, and give you great freedom in exploring and understanding both your world and other people's.
• In theory, there is no difference between theory and reality. In reality, there is. Reason, by itself, is only theory.
• The OODA loop, described by U.S. Air Force Colonel John Boyd, has become the standard nomenclature for combative decision-making. In essence, each person must: Observe what is happening; Orient to the observations (interpret the sensory input); Decide what to do about it; and Act.
• Acting bored and thoughtful can be very powerful. By not questioning your own status, it makes it harder for someone to challenge you for it. There is more, however. Boredom itself is one of the big indicators of confidence and even status. Whether it is in a boardroom, a job interview, a duel, or a football game, nervousness is the sign of the underdog, the probable loser. The opposite of nervousness can go beyond calm into bored. Powerful.
• Experience is only a part of zanshin. If you don't pay attention to the experience, it might as well not have happened. A person can go to hell and back, but if he spent the trip covering his eyes and chanting, "This isn't happening. This isn't happening," he will not develop zanshin. If you live in denial, hiding from the experience and its effects, you will not develop zanshin.
• Veterans don't process the sensory information in the same way as civilians, either-they often ignore the social context. It is very rare for a combat veteran to decide not to duck out of fear of looking-silly.
• Keep your hands close, preferably touching something or lightly moving. I put one under the opposite elbow, splinting my ribs, and the other, usually stroking my jaw. It keeps you from visibly shaking (and neither you nor the threat needs to see you shake).you can hear your heartbeat, slow it down. It does work. Personally, I have the breathing down to a single "here we go again" sigh. Then I check my footing, feeling the muscles tighten in my legs, and clear the spine. To the threat, I look both bored and ready. I have never had an experienced fighter, who saw me clear the spine, keep the challenge up.
• Someone is going to read this and think, "I have a right to go anywhere I want. Just because something is dangerous doesn't take away my rights." Let's get this over with now. Defending yourself is not and never has been about rights-rights are those things that the civilized members of society agree everyone deserves. When you hit the ground and taste blood in your mouth, when a steel-toed boot slams your head into a curb, when a knife slips under the waistband of your skirt and a hand is wrapped around your throat, the civilized agreement on how people should be treated is not an issue.
• Lieutenant Webb, an instructor at the academy long ago, used to say, "No intelligent man has ever lost a fight to someone who said, `I'm gonna kick your ass!"' Those words were the signal and the license to prepare yourself. Leave. Get a weapon. Call the police. Call some friends. Find cover. Do whatever you need to do to stay healthy.
• On the same day, I've had one arrestee say, "I'm not a real criminal; I just steal stuff. I don't hurt nobody." And another say, "So I beat the shit out of that guy, but I'm not a criminal. I never stole anything."
• Rationalization is the internal process of convincing oneself that the violent horrible thing you want to do is honorable, logical, and justified. For the most part, from the perspective of self-defense, rationalization is rarely relevant. It happens entirely in the attacker's head and you must deal with the physical reality of the assault more than the threat's mindset.
• Bad things happen in places. Bad things are done by bad people. If you avoid the had people and bad, places, you usually avoid the bad events. Avoiding dangerous places is the strategic level of terrain. Tactically, you have to learn to read and use the terrain around you. Notice places where you can be cut off, trapped, or surrounded. Identify exits and objects that can be used for cover and concealment. Who can see you? Who can see better than you can? If a window looks like a mirror to you, people on the other side can see in just fine. Develop the habit of planning for escape and evasion (E&E), because not being there is always the best solution. In the room you are in right now, and every room you enter until it becomes second nature, notice every way out-every door, every window you can break; every grill in the floor, wall, or ceiling.
• The smart guy doesn't always win, doesn't even usually win-but an exceptionally sneaky, cunning, cold-blooded person can get away with some things. I've learned a lot from Robby over the years.
• One of the most unexpected things about serious violence is that it is not over, ever. Anything that you have done, anything that you have not done, whether it succeeded or failed, will weigh on your mind. In all probability, it will eat at you.
• I'm not a traffic enforcement officer who has had to use a snow shovel to scrape the remains of a pedestrian off the pavement, or a detective who has to develop rapport with rapists again and again, or a paramedic who has seen more shattered bodies in a year than I have or will see in my lifetime. Somewhere, not too far from where you live, there are people who deal with this, people for whom this is part of their everyday world. They do this job so that other people don't have to see it or deal with it or understand it. They carry the baggage of the rhinoceros so that the rest of the world can believe in unicorns.
• To sum up-nothing matters, but some stuff matters to me. Artificial priorities disappear; meaningless questions ("Why are we here?") are outed as time-wasting, self-indulgent, self-centered bullshit. Buddhists speak of attachment. Attachment is the "therefore" (e.g., "I love you, therefore..."). You must love me back? Not likely. Nothing bad must happen to you? Can't control the universe, partner.
• It's better to avoid than to run; better to run than to de-escalate; better to de-escalate than to fight; better to fight than to die. The very essence of self-defense is a thin list of things that might get you out alive when you are already screwed.