"Humility is not modesty either, Tangney argues. The modest person has a moderate view of himself, but may still think about himself all the time. Humility is better seen as the opposite of narcissism. The narcissist has a damaged sense of self and is consequently self-centered a great deal of the time, reacting in defensive ways to ego threat. The humble person has an accurate and durable sense of self and can see the relationship between the self and the larger world.
Jennifer Crocker of Ohio State spoke next. She spoke of the costly pursuit of self-esteem. I suppose one could distinguish between actions that are done expressly to raise self-esteem (like buying a fancy car) and events that are done for other reasons that obliquely raise self-esteem (like writing a great symphony).
Along these lines, Crocker described the tension between self-transcendence and self-affirmation. Self-affirmation is about being proud and powerful and in control. Self-transcendence is about being engaged in activities in which the self is melded into a task or a relationship. According to various studies Crocker cited, people who have experienced self-transcendence are more open to evidence that counters their own views, and feel more connected to others.
Crocker also noted that self-transcendence is contagious. The best way to get a roommate who is responsive to your feelings is to be a responsive roommate yourself. The final irony is that people who transcend themselves often have more self-esteem. Humility produces self-esteem; it is not the opposite of it."
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