Tuesday, June 29, 2010

What Makes Us Happy?

George Valliant's for 72 years at Harvard have been examining this question, following 268 men who entered college in the late 1930s through war, career, marriage and divorce, parenthood and grandparenthood, and old age.

Ever since I read this essay last year, it fed my confirmation bias on my belief of matters most in life. We make things so much complicated when the happiness is derived from the simplest of simple wisdom. Nothing else matters in life, life is too precious to spend on what other people think. Yes, finding happiness within (inside) us is important but that's not complete. I think Buddhism got it wrong at some level. We humans are social creatures and we long for someone to share happiness. It's natural and that's part of who we are. At the end of the day, it takes two to share and find true happiness. I am so grateful for the circumstances in life made me understand this very early in life (and at the same time this makes me vulnerable at some level). Prerequisite for happiness is to learn to think with the head but speak from the heart.

"
When you were 74, the questionnaire asked: “Have you ever felt so down in the dumps that nothing could cheer you up?” and gave the options “All of the time, some of the time, none of the time.” You circled “None of the time.” “Have you felt calm and peaceful?” You circled “All of the time.” Two years later, the study asked: “Many people hope to become wiser as they grow older. Would you give an example of a bit of wisdom you acquired and how you came by it?” You wrote that, after having polio and diphtheria in childhood, “I never gave up hope that I could compete again. Never expect you will fail. Don’t cry, if you do.”

What allows people to work, and love, as they grow old? By the time the Grant Study men had entered retirement, Vaillant, who had then been following them for a quarter century, had identified seven major factors that predict healthy aging, both physically and psychologically."


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