"Excerpts from a Dog's Diary*
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - Acar ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favoritething!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm- Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favoritething!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milkbones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary*:
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
otherinmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Al
though I make mycontempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something inorder to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dreamof escape. In an
attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
madecondescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I
am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However,
Icould hear th e noises and smell the food. I overheard that my
confinementwas due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what
this means, and howto use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try thisagain tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and
seems tobe more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The
bird has gotto be an informant. I observe him communicate with the
guards regularly. Iam certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arrangedprotective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe, for now.........."
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